-When did it start? -At 0500. We're seven minutes in.
Private Miller...
...you've been smoking ltem 9 for seven minutes and 13 seconds.
We're going to ask you several questions.
How do you feel?
Well sir...
...l feel like a....
Like a slice of butter...
...melting on top of a big old pile of flapjacks.
Yeah.
Okay Private Miller when you think of your superiors...
...what emotions do you feel?
Okay Private Miller?
ls this normal?
Okay Private--
Okay Private Miller?
Private Miller.
Answer the question.
This went out sir.
Can you torch me?
We'll send someone in.
Holy bejesus!
Private Miller answer the question.
What was the question again sir?
When you think of your superiors what emotions do you feel?
You know what problem l have...
...with your fucking little dog-and-pony act you call the military?
Here it is. One: lots of dudes.
Where are the boobies?
Two: Why are we underground right now sir?
Why can't we be out in the open? Why aren't we in a square right now?
Why aren't we talking to people letting them know ltem 9 exists?
Get it out. Shout off the rooftops:
"This is great! This is the bee's knees ltem 9!"
Private we need you to be serious.
l'm serious. Your dick my mouth.
That's inappropriate.
Fuck you!
l've seen enough. Shut it down.
Bury the hatch. Sell the land. And dispose of him.
This never happened.
Dude what happened to your eye?
Hello.
Can you guys understand me?
-Hey. Hey where we going? -This is General Brat.
We've reached a final conclusion on ltem 9.
lllegal!
Hey this is Sam. Good morning.
Welcome to KRAD.
You know l think that last caller had some undeniable points.
Right now we're gonna get to the next caller Dale Denton.
Hey Sam. Big huge fan. First-time caller.
-Here's my piece. -All right.
lf marijuana is not legal within the next five years...
...l have no faith left in humanity period.
Everyone likes smoking weed.
They have for thousands of years. They're not gonna stop anytime soon.
It makes everything better. Makes food better. Makes music better.
lt makes sex feel better for God's sakes.
It makes shitty movies better you know?
Hi there. Are you Sandra Danby?
Yeah.
Well l'm Garth from Global Saviors and....
-What is this? -l'm joking.
You failed to show up for divorce proceedings...
...four times under court order and you've been served.
-Oh great. Thanks a lot asshole. -Sorry.
I'm just saying love has no age.
You can't instantly tell me that a man because he's a certain age...
...can't marry a woman or love a woman.
l'm dating a high-school girl.
You're not maximizing your potential Think this girl takes you seriously?
No but if l'm 25 and the girl is 18 years old...
...you know in society that might look bad.
-Hey as long as it's consensual. -l think it's consensual.
Yo you been served.
You've been served. You've been served.
Walter Wadska the third.
You here to fix the fax machine?
No l'm here to tell you you owe MasterCard 4068 bucks.
You've been served by the best. Keep it real.
Why don't you get a real job you fucking cocksucker?
-Hey "Electric Avenue." -l know right?
-Take that shit to the next level eh? -Okay l will.
-Dr. Edgar Terrence? -Yes.
You have repeatedly refused to trim the monkey tree...
...that spills onto your neighbor's property.
And now because of that you've been served.
You're a jerk.
All this current system is doing...
...is putting money in the hands of criminals...
...and it's making ordinary people like you and me deal with those criminals.
You ever dealt with a drug dealer? lt's terrible it's weird it's awkward.
They think they're your friend but they're not.
Dale I get your point. Thanks for your input. Next caller please.
l can't come.
What?
Why the fuck not Dale?
l just-- Look l can't come.
l have a lot of stuff to do tomorrow. lt's a bad day for me.
Jesus Christ Dale. When were you gonna tell me?
My mom has been shopping all day.
-Why? -She's already planning on couscous.
l said l might be able to go so why is she doing that already?
-Now l look like an asshole. -You are one.
Come on don't say that. l just can't go. l have a job.
-Fine. -"Fine"?
Don't come. l don't care.
Then why have you been inviting me? l thought you wanted me to go.
lf you don't wanna meet them l don't want you to.
l want to. l can't. l have a job. l'm sorry. What do you want from me?
l just know they'll like you that's all.
You're great and you're funny...
...and you're sexy.
l just want them to see that.
-You want them to see that l'm sexy? -Hey people?
-Hi Mr. Edwards. -Can l help you?
No l'm good. Thank you though.
Yeah? l see you don't have a visitor's badge. That's why l ask.
-l'm with her actually. -Actually this is my boyfriend.
l heard that. l wish l didn't hear that but l just heard that.
What's that supposed to mean?
l'm just wondering why you don't date a nice guy your own age.
-She's very mature for her age. -Yeah.
-Angie hey. How's it going? -Hey.
Hey Clark how you doing man? What's up?
l'm good bro. l'm good.
Dude l wanted to tell you.
You were hilarious today in drama class.
Your Jeff Goldblum impression made me pee my pants.
l wish.
Oh hey l almost forgot.
Last week when we worked out you forgot your shorts in my car.
Oh yeah.
-Here you go. -Thanks.
Yeah no problem no problem.
-Can you hold those? -Yeah.
-How's it going Sporty Spice?
This is my boyfriend Dale.
-Hey nice to meet you. -You too.
l've heard so much about you. You're real cool.
-l mean you're great. Yeah. -Yeah awesome.
Anyways yeah dude next year. Next year college man. College.
Gonna be kick-ass. l will watch her back for you.
l know there's tons of guys that are gonna be trying to get on that shit.
-Oh good. -Because l got that-- Yeah.
You got her ass? Perfect.
-l'll watch her ass for-- -He's trying to be nice.
-l'll catch you at Home Ec. -Okay.
You guys got Home Ec together too. That's cool.
-We got a few classes together. -Nice to meet you.
Time to suck today's dick. That's what l'm talking about. See you guys later.
-All right Clark. -Clark's a great guy.
He's totally gonna take care of Angela man.
He's great. He's a wonderful lab partner. He'll keep an eye on her.
Why don't you go fuck yourself you weird prick?
l'm a teacher. You can't talk to me like that.
l'm not a student so l can say whatever l want...
-...you chimp-fucking little bastard. -Actually--
You've got T-minus 30 seconds to get off school property...
...or l call the liaison officer.
-We're leaving. l'm sorry. -Middle finger won't stop the clock.
What a jerk.
What's that guy's problem? Jesus.
l don't-- Normally he's-- That's really weird.
l'd love to have dinner with you and your parents tomorrow night.
l'm gonna go. l'll definitely go. l'll shuffle things around--
-Really? -Yeah l'll be there for sure.
Yeah l wanna show them you're in good hands. Yeah.
l got nothing to be embarrassed about.
That means so much to me and my parents.
No problem. lt's gonna be awesome.
-Hello? -Hey Saul. Mind if l come by?
-Come on down. -Sweet. Be there.
-Hi Mary. -Hi.
l thought the hurricane season was over.
l thought hurricane season was over.
I'm sorry. Things just got out of hand.
Yeah that's the way it was with my first husband.
Hello? Hey man.
What the fuck man?
l didn't buzz you in. How the monkey did you get in here?
Some guy with a fauxhawk let me in. He was leaving when l--
-Fucking Kyle. -lt might have been Kyle.
-Asshole. -l'm sorry man.
What the fuck's the buzzer for anyway?
l don't know. l'm sorry about that. l don't know your protocol yet.
Stuff your sorries in a sack. lt's not your fault.
-Okay. -lt's these jerk-offs. Have a seat.
Okay cool. Thanks man. Awesome.
Yo check this out.
Satellite radio.
Got two TVs and radio. That's pretty rad.
That's home entertainment.
You're very entertained. Oh wow. You got a cute picture too.
Oh yeah. Me and my bubbe.
Hey let me ask you something.
Yeah?
Do you think you could pull the plug on someone if you needed to?
Like euthanasia?
Like on her?
lf l needed to.
l'm kind of in a hurry man.
l don't know if we should start going down that road.
l could talk all day about euthanasia. Don't get me started.
-Maybe we should-- -We'll save it.
-Save it for next time. -l'll take that rain check.
Business for the businessman.
-Yeah you got my number. -Okay.
-Brass tacks. -Yes.
Just got a shipment of the dopest dope l've ever smoked.
Hands down dopest dope l've ever smoked.
Not better than the Blue Oyster. lt can't be. l can't handle that.
This is like if that Blue Oyster shit met that Afghan Kush l had...
...and they had a baby.
And meanwhile that crazy Northern Lights stuff l had...
...and the Super Red Especial Snowflake met and had a baby.
And by some miracle those two babies met and fucked...
...this would be the shit that they birthed.
-Yes. -This is the product of baby fucking.
-Smell it. -Okay.
Smell it. Enjoy.
lt's like God's vagina.
What you wanna bathe in it?
-l wanna live in here. -You wanna be it?
My God l just wanna shove it up my nose have that smell all day.
-That's amazing. -Shove it anywhere you like.
Beautiful. What's it called?
-Pineapple Express. -Pineapple Express.
lt's this thing like El Niņo.
This airflow that comes from Hawaii and Canada.
lt gets the dirt mixes it in with the weed in a special way.
lt's very scientific. l won't go into it right now.
But l am the only guy in the whole city that has it.
Only 10 bones more for a quarter.
Okay l'll take a quarter.
-All right you're on. -Thank you very much.
Let me get my scale.
Get it going. Grab the scale. Let's get me out of here.
l thought hurricane season was over.
Oh crow.
Where are you you little fucker?
What the fuck is this thing?
-Cross joint. -Yeah.
-You ever smoke one of those? -You can smoke this?
-Yeah man. -No.
This is the future.
This is like the apex of the vortex ofjoint engineering.
lt's rumored that M. M. O'Shaughnessy designed the first one.
The guy who designed the Golden Gate Bridge.
My second favorite civil engineer...
...behind Hannskarl Bandel Madison Square Garden.
What you do is you light all three ends at the same time.
-Really? -And then the smoke converges...
...creating a trifecta ofjoint-smoking power.
This is it man. This is what your grandchildren are gonna be smoking.
Future. The future.
That's amazing. Well got the weed?
-Yeah. -ln the bag. Beautiful. Okay.
Be careful with that thing man. Here's the cash grab the stash.
Alrighty man thanks. Have a good one.
Don't hurt yourself. Adios.
Well hey wait a minute man.
Let's smoke this fucking thing.
l really-- l can't man. l gotta--
l can't even light this thing on my own.
Yeah l need your help man.
-l'm in. -Come on!
-Why not? Let's do it. -Come on down!
Why not? What do l do?
Okay here's what you do.
-You equip yourself. -l'm equipping.
-Equip me sir. -Okay.
You are going to light these two ends while l light this end.
-Okay. -Are you ready?
-Ready. -Blast off.
-l'm gonna do it. -Good. Go for it.
lt's better to cough.
lt's like--
Makes you 10 times more higher...
...than the cross weed and the Pineapple Express.
You're like totally fucking Gong Show'ed man.
Oh fuck.
Hang on one second man.
Oh you fucker.
Who is it?
lt's Chris Gebert man. Let me up.
Shit.
What's a Gebert?
Come on up.
He ain't getting any of that Pineapple Express.
Chris is getting Snicklefritz.
Hey.
So listen man.
l gotta ask you. So....
Listen man. You've been buying from me for like two months right?
-Two months. -l gotta ask man.
What's up with the suit?
l'm a process server. So l have to wear a suit.
Wow you're a servant? Like a butler?
-A chauffeur? -No. No. What? No l'm not--
-Shine shoes? -l'm a process server.
-l like-- -ln process.
l work for a company that's like hired...
...by lawyers to hand out legal documents.
Like subpoenas to people who don't want them.
l gotta wear disguises sometimes just to make them admit they're themselves...
...so l can serve them the papers.
Disguise.
Kind of l guess.
-lt's a hell of a job. -That's cool man.
Like a day-to-day basis it's fine. Like today l like sat in my car...
...l smoked like 10 doobies...
...and then l went to go visit my girlfriend at lunch.
Nice.
What? You sucked on her titties?
No l just kissed her. l just did that to make it seem cool.
That's cool. Does she like to smoke weed?
A little sometimes. She has a couple--
She's in high school so as much as any high-school kid.
She's cool as hell actually.
-You'd get along with her. -Really?
Yeah you know it only sucks...
...when l go visit her in high school and the guys she goes to school with...
...are strong and handsome and really funny.
Like do good impressions of Jeff Goldblum and shit like that.
And like l just feel like a fat dumb fucking stinky ass-turd when l'm there.
-What? -lt really-- lt sucks for my ego.
-Fuck Jeff Goldblum man. -That's what l say.
You know don't get down on yourself. You got a great girl.
You got a great job where you don't do anything.
You get to smoke weed all day.
l wish l had that.
Are you kidd--? You do. You have the easiest job on Earth.
-You do smoke weed all day. -That's true.
You didn't think of that.
-l do have a good job. -Yeah you do nothing.
-Thanks man. -No prob.
Thank you.
Oh shit. All right. Business.
-Got my persona. -Yeah yeah.
Hey. Put that cross joint out.
He sees that he'll never get the fuck out of here.
-What's up Chris? -Yo hey Saul.
-Hey. -How you doing buddy?
All right homes. Good.
-Who's this? -Hey. Oh that's my friend Mark.
You got the dough? There you go.
-Appreciate it. -Nice. Good to meet you Mark.
-Do you have any Percocet please? -Percocet?
What are you talking about? l don't sell that shit.
-Chris. -Chris.
You told him l was gonna sell Percocet?
-l didn't say anything about Percocet. -What the fuck?
-l just wanted a couple Percocets. -Well l....
You came to the wrong place. Wrong place.
-Sorry. -Yeah nice. Peace out homes.
-Thank-- -God.
-What the fuck? -Yeah.
-Fucking lingerer. -Yeah totally.
-Lingerer. -Hardcore.
Fuck.
-Bums me out. -Bums me out too.
lf there's one quality l hate in a person it's lingering.
-That's right. You and me both. -Yeah yeah.
So l'm curious. What have those people done that you go...
...and process and service?
l don't know. lt's always something different l guess.
This guy....
Ted Jones who knows. You know?
-Ted Jones? -Yeah why?
My guy Red who l buy from he gets his stuff from a Ted Jones.
-Really? -Maybe it's the same guy.
That'd be weird.
lt's a pretty normal name l guess but....
Anyway l should really get going man. l gotta go.
Duty calls but it's good to see you. Thanks.
You're gonna smoke and run? Come on man.
We can go look at some crazy things on the lnternet together.
That sounds appealing but l think l should probably just get going.
-Oh that sucks. -Yeah.
That's cool man. What are you doing this weekend?
Because you know my bubbe's got season tickets to the opera...
...and she can't make it so wanna go see Phantom?
-Of the Opera? -Yeah.
l can't this weekend but you know what? Here.
You know-- l'll run out of weed in a couple days. l'll come by hang out.
-We'll watch 227 and shit. -Definitely.
Cool man. Well thanks. Good to see you.
-Peace brother. -Okay.
One love.
When you got behind on the mortgage...
...someone finally made you a loan?
Yes he did.
What was the interest rate you got?
-lt was 12 or 13 percent. -That's disgusting.
-Hello? -Hello.
Hey Angie what's happening?
I just talked to my mom and they are so excited you're coming for dinner.
Like so excited. And so am l but we're all really excited.
Thank you so much.
No problem. l'm psyched too. lt's gonna be awesome.
Couscous. The food so nice they named it twice.
Dale anyway l can't wait for next year when this bullshit's over.
Oh shit. l see the guy l gotta serve. l'll call you back.
Fucking cops. Shit.
Jesus.
What an adorable little cop.
Weird.
Jesus. Fuck.
What the fuck was that?
Oh shit.
Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude.
Oh no!
-Drive drive. -Who the fuck is that?
l don't know but l ain't waiting to see.
Pineapple Express.
Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!
l saw brains and blood!
Come on! Come on!
Where do l go?
Hello?
Saul it's Dale. Let me in. Let me in.
l just saw some crazy shit. Please. Let me in.
-lt's Dale Denton. Let me in man -Dale?
Yes Dale. That's what l said lt's Dale. Let me in.
Oh all right man. Come on up.
l buzzed it. Open the door when l buzz it.
Buzz it in three seconds exactly.
One two--
-Did it work? -On three!
l did it on three. On "one two three go"?
Just on three.
-He fucking killed him. -Hey l got neighbors.
He fucking killed him.
-Who killed who? -A cop. A lady and a guy.
A cop a lady and a guy? That's a massacre. You saw it?
No it was just a guy.
-What happened to the lady? -No. No.
A woman. A policewoman and a guy another guy shot another guy...
...an Asian guy in the window at fucking Ted's house.
Whoa was the other guy Ted?
l don't know. He was a big gray-haired man...
...and he had a robe and he shot him.
And his brain flew every-- l'm gonna be-- l'm gonna throw up.
What?
-That was chicken fries. -Sick.
You threw up on my printer.
-l did. -Did you break it?
-l hope not. -Listen man.
l think the guy was Ted.
And the Asians are number-two in town...
...so you saw Ted capping the competition.
They saw me seeing them shoot the guy.
What? They saw you?
And you fucking came here?
-Did they follow you here? -l don't know.
-Did they follow you here? -l don't know. Look. Look. Okay.
l saw them kill him.
l freaked out. l panicked okay?
l tossed my roach.
-l crashed into two cars. -Yeah.
So they must have heard-- They know someone was out there.
-They know someone saw. -They know "someone."
They don't know it was you. Right?
l don't-- l mean yeah. l don't know.
-Yes. -l hope not.
Relax.
Just sit back. Get ready to enjoy some of the rarest weed known to mankind.
ls it really that rare?
lt's like the rarest.
lt's almost a shame to smoke it.
lt's like killing a unicorn...
...with like a bomb.
Are you the only guy in town who has this?
-You're actually the only guy? -Yeah.
My guy Red said he was giving me an exclusive sneak preview.
l'm the only guy you sold it to? The other guys got Snicklefritz?
Yeah. So we're like the only guys.
And Red got this from Ted?
Ted's the man.
Let's get the fuck out of here! Go! Go! Let's go! Let's go!
l threw a roach of this outside of Ted's house.
So what? l throw roaches all over town.
No. He could find the roach and say "lt's Pineapple Express.
Saul is the only guy who has Pineapple Express.
He must have seen the murder! Let's kill him!"
-Let's get out of here! -Fuck!
Wait! Stop! Get weed! Get the weed!
Anything we might need. Snacks food Fruit Roll-Ups.
-Let's get the fuck out of here! -Okay okay.
Red said he'd be here.
Them some drugs.
Smells like vomit in this house.
Want a hit man? lt's still lit.
l'm having dinner with my wife. She can tell.
Smell it on my sweater.
For real?
Yeah for real.
You wanna wear my vest? lt smell good.
Not my style.
You ain't got no style motherfucker.
You have reached the voice mailbox of...
-Ted. -Ted it's Budlofsky.
-We're here. Saul's gone. -And Mathe--
-And Matheson. -l think he knew we were coming.
They not here Ted.
Hi Ted.
Okay what do you know about Ted?
l think he's crazy about murdering.
Jesus man. Well how much money do you have?
-l have like the 75 that you gave me. -That's it?
-Well how much do you have? -Three bucks.
What you getting on my case for? l have more than you.
Well that's my 75 technically. So l have $78 and you have nothing.
l don't know. Let's just go-- Go to a motel or a hotel and just hide out.
The police were in on it. Could have flagged credit cards. They'll find us.
Shit. l wish we could just go nowhere.
Okay.
Even if he found that roach how could he know where you are?
Heat-seeking missiles.
Bloodhounds.
Foxes.
Barracudas.
l'm kind of flabbergasted when you say things like that. lt's weird.
Thank you.
Not a compliment. Here's the question.
Let's say he actually found the roach.
How could he connect the Pineapple Express weed to you?
He can't man. Only fucking Red knows.
Only Red knows man.
Who is Red?
Red's like the middleman between like Ted and me.
And we're like mad fucking tight man.
One time he got this girl...
...to give me a hand job like within five minutes of meeting her.
lt was like "l don't even know your name whoa."
That is pretty rad but like let's say Ted calls him and is like:
"Did you sell the Pineapple Express to anyone?"
He'll be "Yeah l sold it to Saul." Why wouldn't he?
No. Oh no. Fuck that man.
Fucking hand job Dale. lmagine if l gave you a hand job.
-Why would l wanna do that? -No l mean if l got you a hand job.
The same rules don't apply to Red. He's a drug dealer.
l'm a drug dealer. Are you saying you don't trust me?
No that's not at all what l'm-- You know what?
You know? Just ignore what l said. Call him. Give him a call.
See what the dealio is.
-Hello. -Hey Red you okay?
Yeah Saul. Yeah l'm fine man. l just stubbed my toe.
Be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house.
Safety. Safety first then teamwork. Now listen.
You know that Pineapple Express stuff you gave me?
Don't tell anybody that you sold it to me.
l'd never talk to anyone...
...about the stuff that l do with you involving drugs.
All right cool. Listen l'm gonna come by.
l gotta lay some shit on you.
There is a fly in the ointment.
Shit has hit the fan. The lion will speak.
-l'm in the middle of a convo. -No seriously.
-We're gonna be there in half an hour. -Perfect.
-No please. No no no. -Let's go over there and chill out.
No can we go tomorrow? Look we're already here....
There's somebody else on the phone with him.
-Who? -l don't know.
He's whispering to another man.
We'll go in the morning. lt's better that way.
-Okay. -Yes. Yes. Thank you. Yes.
-Hey. -So you're coming by tomorrow?
How'd you know that?
Heard you whispering to that other guy that you were talking to. Who is that?
Right Dale. Good job. Listen l can't go in the morning...
...because my bubbe-- Gotta change her clocks. Daylight-savings.
ls that the bubbe that's on 41 st and River Street?
The one where we played shuffleboard that one time?
You got it. So listen we'll be chilling by noon.
-Noon it is bromosexual. -Nice.
We should hit up the casino again. lt's been a while.
Okay yeah. We'll definitely hit the casino up.
Definitely. All right peace brother.
-Where is he? -l don't know.
-Why'd he mention a casino? -l don't know.
You make me call my good friend send him into a booby trap.
-And lie to him. -ls Saul Asian?
-Making me a shitty person. -ls he Asian?
-He's not Asian. -You're lying.
-l'm not lying. l'm not lying. -You're lying.
Did you hear slot machines?
-Man l don't know where he is. -You tell me where he is.
Tell me. ln 45 minutes l gotta go have dinner with my wife.
-l got a reservation. -Forty-five?
That's a dinner reservation you gonna miss.
That's a reservation l'll make.
-l don't think so. -Because if he doesn't start to--
-Look can you do this one solo? -No l can't do this solo. Are you crazy?
-What are you talking about? What? -What you trying to abandon me?
This is teamwork. This is a partnership. We are in this together.
-You want me to stay? -Yes.
-Fine l'll stay. -Thank you.
-You happy now? -Yes.
There's no way that we could pause for a minute...
...you guys go home...
...and then tomorrow we could just like continue?
l should call Angie soon.
Make up some bullshit.
l'm cold.
You're cold? Oh l'm not cold at all. Here.
l run hot.
-Really? -Yeah.
-You got more body mass. -Thick blood. Yeah no take it.
-Thank you. -l don't appreciate that but it's okay.
l'm gonna call Angie.
Space.
Dale wait. Wait.
The phones. The phones.
-You said they were cops right? -They are yeah.
l was thinking maybe they can...
...triangulate these things man or like trace them.
-Right? -That's how they got Saddam.
-Right. -Fuck. You're right man.
Maybe they can even trace them...
...like when we're not even on them you know?
Maybe if we bury them the reception will cut off and they won't be able to.
We can tie it to an animal be a diversion.
We'll never catch an animal.
The squirrel'd be up in a tree they'd think we were.
No no no.
-We'll build a hot-air balloon and-- -No.
-We'll smash them. -Yeah yeah.
l'm gonna smash it. On a rock.
-Right here. Good thinking. -Good idea. Yes destroy it.
-Get it. -Die. Yes.
-What the fuck was that? -l was trying to hit that tree. l missed.
-What tree? -That one.
Why didn't you smash it on a rock like a normal person?
l don't know. How often does somebody smash things? l'm rusty.
Did you at least see where it landed?
l don't know. Call it.
Call it? With what? My phone has been smashed.
l bet they can't even triangulate those things.
Well you convinced me they can. You were very convincing back there.
Hey. Fine. l'll go find it. Fuck.
-Do you see it? -See what?
The phone you idiot.
Why are we here? This place is so fucking scary.
At least l had an idea. You didn't so shut up.
That's not true. l had two ideas. Nowhere and Quiznos.
-What? -What was that?
-What? -What is that?
-What? -l hear something.
What?
l don't know. Do you hear that?
Dude l literally hear nothing.
Oh fuck!
Where are you going? What are you running from? Return to me now!
Help me!
Tell him to get away from me!
l'm scared of this darkness! l surrender!
-Go away! Go away! -l'm unarmed!
-This isn't funny anymore! -Dale!
-Fall back! -Save me!
Oh shit.
Car.
Open it! Open it! Open the door! Open it!
-Unlock it. -l can't unlock it.
What are you doing? Watch the upholstery.
-Go! l saw something! -No! What did you see? Shut up!
Shut the fuck-- Shut up man!
l heard something then l saw something.
You didn't hear anything man.
Well l saw something.
And you're telling me that guy in the little short shorts...
-...broke your nose? -Right.
The BeDazzler guy broke your nose tough man?
Wake up. Get up. Wake up.
How did l get on you?
l wonder.
Watch finally broke.
Crazy. What time is it?
That can't be right.
lt couldn't be 3 in the morning could it?
lt's 3:00 right now?
Holy shit man!
We were supposed to be at Red's at noon man. What if he's gone?
No it's daylight-savings so--
-So it's only 2:00. -Oh no it went forward an hour.
lt's 4 o'-fucking-clock? Fuck me. No man. That's bad.
Shit. We slept for like 18 hours.
My bubbe-- Man my bubbe's gonna be so pissed.
Shit.
We gotta call Red.
Okay. How?
We'll go to a pay phone.
No l can't. His number is in my phone.
Great. Well do you remember where he lives?
Yeah l know where he lives.
What are you insinuating? Like l'm forgetful?
"lnsinuating." Good word.
Do you know what that means?
-l do believe it or not. -lt means like "to seem like."
Let's roll. l'm done with the woods. Let's go.
Come on let's get the fuck out of here.
Okay. Let's go. No. lt's not working. The battery's dead.
Wait.
What do you mean it's dead?
What do l mean? l mean the battery's dead. The battery's dead.
What do you mean the battery's dead?
How can l explain this to you differently?
The battery is dead. lt ceased to live.
lt's deceased now. The car needs a battery to start Saul.
How did this happen?
Well we clearly fell asleep with the battery on and--
Oh man. To talk radio?
-Yes talk radio. -lt's so boring man.
-Okay okay. -The car just committed suicide.
Shut up man. l have an idea now.
We're gonna go.
We'll walk back to the road. We'll hitchhike.
Someone will pick us up take us to Red's.
Red will tell us everything's fine everything will go back to normal.
How does that sound? Good?
-That's a good idea. -Keep our heads on.
lf we just keep thinking like this we're fucking gravy.
-All right. l'm in. -Let's do it.
-Can l have my jacket back please? -Yeah.
-Thank you. -Thank you.
Thanks for taking care of it.
Look it's like my thumb is my cock.
That's not gonna get us a ride man.
Here's good.
Thanks for the smooth sailing Sharid.
You're welcome.
-You're sure we can trust this guy? -Yo Red.
Who is it?
-lt's Bruce. -Bruce? Who the fuck is this?
-Saul. What's up? -Who do you think it is?
Who's this?
l'm Dale Mr. Red. Nice to meet you.
Dale who?
lt's best if you don't know my full name.
Dale Denton. He's with me.
Dale Denton. Nice to meet you bro.
-Hold on. Let me get this lock okay? -You better.
-Get in here. -Coming in.
-Y'all wanna buy some drugs? -Frisk me.
-What's up? What's up? -Get it.
Look at that huh?
-What's up players? -What's up?
l've been up in here trying to get a motherfucking scholarship. Chilling.
What's up with the clothes?
We were camping.
-Camping? -Yeah.
ls your lip okay man?
-You been crying? -Oh my lip.
lt's a cold sore.
Never had one before so l started to cry.
l think it's a lot worse than it looks though.
Cold sore? Does that mean fucking herpes?
Yeah. Yes it does.
Fucking sick man. You know how many joints we've shared?
l know. l'm a disgusting person.
Herpes is for life bro.
l'm gonna try to definitely put some sort of medical ointment on it.
Been taking Vicodin. Doesn't really take swelling down.
lt's from that time. l told you man.
You ate that lollipop out of that stripper's snatch. You wanted to do it.
Out of her vagina. Remember what you did? What did you do?
You ate a box of Nerds out of her butthole.
You fucking said you wouldn't tell. You sowed your own poison man.
Dudes seriously we're here for a reason. Just ask him.
Chill. l'm boiling some eggs over here. We got a lot of time to hang out.
-l'm making a fucking cake. -No shit.
Can l have a piece of that?
-Don't ask for a piece. -l can't have a piece?
No you can't. This is private.
Do you know what today is?
-Tuesday. -This is my cat's birthday today.
l don't see a cat in here. l'm sorry. You let it out by accident?
No because he died three months ago okay?
So now who's the funny guy?
Sorry.
Today is his birthday...
...and it is a tradition that on his birthday...
...l get up extra early and make him his favorite kind of dessert.
Don't worry bro. Your cat's going to heaven.
Yeah maybe. Maybe he went to heaven.
He was a little fucker. Could've gone to hell.
What are we talk--? Guys--
Ask him. Just ask him okay?
Ask what? Just come straight. What's up?
-Yeah right. -Lay it on him.
We need to know--
We need to know about your source.
-Ted. -Ted Jones.
See Dale here is a protest servant.
l'm not. That's not what l am.
He's not that but he was outside Ted's house--
Don't-- Look we don't want to bring you in to what we're in okay?
You don't want any trouble. We don't wanna give you trouble.
lt's probably best you don't know the whole story.
-Don't think l can handle danger? -What are you talking about?
-You can. -l totally can.
And for you to come into my house...
...and not tell secrets because you think you're saving me...
...well in reality it just makes you look like a dumb-ass.
Look at this. See this?
You see that? There's no hair under here okay?
What's the significance of that?
lt makes me aerodynamic when l fight. l can take danger.
Okay has anyone called asking about Saul or the Pineapple Express?
That's all we need to know.
ls it "uh-huh" or "uh-uh"?
-lt's "uh-uh." -There it is man.
Cleared. Over.
Everything's fine. l told you bro.
We had a wacky night in the woods...
...but we both can put that behind us like adults.
Now it's time to get super-duper high.
Got that bong l got in Tel Aviv?
"Bong Mitzvah." Hit it up.
Yes.
There you go.
Why don't you follow his lead and chill out?
l'm chill. l'm chill as a cucumber man.
-You don't seem chill. -More chill than you.
You're more chill than me?
Look at what l'm wearing. Kimono. What are you wearing?
-Suit. -Yeah. Exactly.
l don't know what's up with you but l don't know if l like you.
Well l don't know if l like you either man.
Well that's your loss because l'm a great friend.
l'm gonna use the telefono to call my wife okay?
-Give her a call. -l will.
-Go ahead. -Don't pay attention to what l'm saying.
-Go ahead. -Sit on my couch...
...my chillastic couch and chill out.
-l'm chilling right here. -Don't listen to what l'm saying.
-This is private. This is my wife. -l'm listening.
l'm not trying to be enemies. l don't wanna be.
-l wanna be friends. -Well then good.
-l wanna be best friends. -Come here.
-Shake my fucking hand. -Shake my hand. Okay.
-See we can be friends. -l'm feeling it.
-You feel that? We can be best friends. -l'm looking through you man.
l'm looking through you too...
...and l see l need to paint the spot on the wall behind you.
-l'm looking through you. -Transparent.
-l see your intentions. -l see your intestines and intentions.
-What'd l have for dinner last night? -Cake.
l'll be right back. Make this phone call.
Bullshit.
No no no.
-Liar. -What are you doing man?
He's a liar. He's lying to us man. He's lying to us.
No he's not.
He knows my name. He's acting weird.
We can't let him phone anyone man.
Freaking out. You're paranoid. Give him the phone.
l do not trust you sir.
-You're paranoid. -He's acting weird.
Red l'm sorry bro.
-Jesus! -Holy cock.
Fuck you!
What are you doing man? He's sorry.
Oh Jesus.
Herpes!
l don't wanna have to do this.
Red you're crazy man.
You brought the devil into my house.
-We're friends. -l know we are.
-That's why it sucks. -Are you on meth again?
Dale he's hurting me!
Toilet.
Flush.
What we do in this life echoes in eternity.
True!
He's going for the phone to call Ted!
Stay out of here!
Red don't do it!
-Red! -You assholes.
You ruined my portable phone.
-Teamwork. -Yes.
You're gonna break the door. Gonna pay for it?
Fuck.
Phone.
-Let go! Let go! Let go! -What the hell--?
l let go now just get this goddamn door off of me!
Tell us everything now!
Said they were gonna kill me.
What did you tell Ted?
He's crushing my balls. Crushing my balls.
Smash them.
Fuck!
Time out. Time out.
-Truce. -Time in. Fuck you.
-Stop! -Cheater!
-l'm sorry. l'm sorry. l'm sorry. -Red!
-l'm sorry. l'm sorry. -Get--
Fuck.
God--
Fuck!
-Take it motherfucker! -Time out!
Fuck!
No! No no no!
Where you going huh?
Where do you think you're going Mr. Wiggles?
-Come on. Get back here. -Saul help me! Help me!
He's punching my bum!
l'm done with this. Let's talk. Let's try words.
Use words! No! No! No!
You okay man?
-l'll get you another bong. -lt's my cat's birthday.
Happy birthday.
-All right? -Thank you.
l think there's a package in the mailbox.
This ends now!
Oh shit.
Was that too much?
Can't get the edge.
Wait. Got it. Got it.
Hey Dale.
Think we're gonna have to kill him? l don't think l'm capable of murder.
l don't think l am either.
Maybe we could just convince him to kill himself.
Or just not say anything.
We need to find out everything he knows okay?
Wake up.
Hey what's up dudes?
What's up? Tell us everything now.
Talk Red.
l'm gonna flex and bust out of here.
Trapped.
Not happening Red.
Okay. All right. Okay l'll talk.
Ted Jones he knows you witnessed the murder. He found your roach.
He sent two guys over here Budlofsky and Matheson.
Two real big son of a bitches.
They're basically out to kill you guys.
They're gonna kill me too unless l turn y'all over.
So you guys are basically fucked.
How many cops does he have on his payroll? Tell us.
-Well there's the woman cop Carol. -That's the lady cop.
l don't know. He could have a bunch. This dude is super well-connected.
And he has a really awesome hideout too. lt's pretty badass.
-Oh shit. -What else?
He's at a war right now with the Asians.
They're in a drug war right now.
Asians? What Asians? lndians are technically Asian.
-lt's true. -What Asians?
l don't know. What? Chinese? Or Korean or--
Vietcong?
Yeah little-- Just little Asian people.
Like the Asians with the guns and the drugs and not his friends.
-Ding-dong. -Hey Red!
-Oh shit. -Oh they're here.
They're here to kill me.
Okay l know l sold y'all out. l've been a son of a bitch and a shitty friend.
Saul l'm talking to you. Dale you're a new friend.
l can make it up. l forgot "bro's before ho's."
Just go out the back porch. l won't say anything.
-l'll cover for you. -Thanks.
No sweat.
lt was Dale Denton. Dale Denton and Saul.
They're on the back porch. You can catch them if you hurry. Go.
Hey. ln here.
l've gotta get to a phone. Come on.
-We should hide. -Why?
lf Red tells Ted's guys about my name...
...then they'll go to my apartment.
There l have Angie's name. They'll put that together find her. Let's go.
No. l think we should stay.
-Why? -l'm in the dumpster already.
Well then get out. Come on you're already dirty.
-They're gone. -Well find out what he knows.
Red it's your last chance man.
You gonna give us something we can use?
Matheson you gotta be kidding me. l mean what more do you want?
l told you that the guy's name is Dale Denton.
He's obviously working with Saul.
They came in here busted my house to shit.
They kicked the hell out of me...
...duct-taped me to my grandfather's wheelchair.
What more do you want? Want me to read your horoscope?
-You hear that Ted? -Ask if either of them were Asian.
-What skin color were they? -They were white people.
Denton might've been a Jew. l don't know.
l don't judge people based on things like that.
Obviously. We're friends.
Ted you hear him?
Dale Denton: not Asian. All right. Kill Red.
Listen l would appreciate it if both y'all would take your shoes off.
This is brand-new carpet. You're tracking mud in here.
Matheson you got British Knights on.
l ain't seen anybody wear them since 1987.
What the hell are you doing?
Ted told me to kill him.
Well how about a little fucking discretion here?
See? See? See right there. You see that?
-You catch it? -See what?
You used to not give a fuck about discretion.
l seen you pull somebody's jawbone off. l seen it.
You was ruthless.
You was ruthless man.
What the fuck man? You shot me in my stomach.
l'm gonna die now probably.
l had you all over here for dinner. Fish tacos.
This how you do me?
So what did Budlofsky and Matheson say?
l don't know.
There's this guy Saul...
...something selling weed who works with some guy Dale Denton.
That's all he got out of him.
Do you think he has anything to do with the guy that we shot?
Well did he say anything else?
Saul mentioned something about "going to the casino."
-Weird. -"Going to the casino"?
The Asians own the casino Ted.
-l need another beer. -He's gotta be working for them.
Maybe after we popped that guy they hired this outside guy Dale--
What's his name? Denton? --to finish the job.
Maybe.
Maybe. Well l'll be back in an hour.
I'll have everything there is to know about this Dale Denton guy.
Who he's screwing who's his mother everything.
l have to take a shit.
Wait. Where are we going?
l gotta-- l gotta get to Angie's. l have to make sure she's okay.
What about my bubbe? Don't think they'll go after her.
l mean she has a different last name.
Belogus.
l don't know. We should get out of the middle of the road. Come on.
You guys can wait as long as you want...
...but one minute from right now l'm gonna eat some food.
And you can call it rude. You can call it whatever you want.
You can be polite with your clean plates but l'm gonna be eating food.
Dad he'll be here.
l'm going in the other room and eat it check my e-mail. l'm done.
Honey we're at the table. No one's going to leave the table.
-Okay. This is it. -All right. Let's do this.
No no no. l'm going alone.
-No. -Yeah. Yeah.
-l wanna meet Angie. -You'll meet her later man. Look.
Look l need you to stay out here. Keep guard okay?
-lt's important. Watch my back. -Okay.
-Thanks. -All right. Just be yourself.
l'll keep guard.
Hey.
Shit.
Oh no.
Hey Dale.
-Hello Dale. -Hey.
Dinner.
This is the dinner you invited me to. That was tonight. That's why l'm here.
Sit. Please.
Of course. Hi.
-Hi. -Shannon.
-lntros. -Great to meet you.
-Robert if l'm not mistaken. -Sit down so we can eat.
-Hi Dale. -Hey. Okay.
-What happened to you? -Nothing.
l'm supposed to be here right now.
So l'm here.
-You're all dirty and bleeding. -No l'm not. l'm here for dinner.
-You have scratches on your forehead. -Dude you smell like shit.
-Dale what happened to you? -l was in the woods.
-ln the woods? -Yeah. lsn't that weird? l was--
-l was in the woods. -What were you doing?
l bird-watch. l don't.
No l don't. Look l'm gonna come clean.
l witnessed a murder okay?
l saw someone murder someone else...
...and l think they've been following me.
There's a good chance they went to my apartment...
...where Angie has a lot of things.
Her yearbooks report cards her cell number is written...
...and it's on my fridge.
So they could then find this house. They could come here.
We should call the police right away.
We can't. The police were the murderers.
We can't call the police. They were the murderers.
Angie l swear to God you do something or l'm gonna--
-So fucked up. -No. Don't let him "gonna."
No don't wanna. Look we gotta get the F out of here.
Let's go. We need to begin to prematurely evacuate.
-Are you high? -What? No. l'm not high. Why--?
You are high as a fucking kite.
l'm not high. Let's go.
We're not going. l'm coming back in a minute.
You know what l'm coming back with? With a gun.
You better be out. l'm not fucking with you.
Your gun? His gun?
Why do you--? Don't get a gun. Why would he bear arms?
No we need to go. Everyone l'm leading the parade.
l just want you to know l always got your back.
And l'm glad we're partners.
-This is so exciting. -Okay okay.
ls this where you're parked? Let's sally forth.
Who is after you after Angie?
They're drug dealers. l have reason to believe that they're drug dealers.
What are you talking about? You're out of your mind.
-l know it sounds crazy. -Hide.
Dale! Dale! Dale! lt's happening. l was eating a Fruit Roll--
-Why'd you do that? -God!
-Get it! -Jesus! Okay! Just stop!
-Angie what did you do? -He's one of the drug dealers!
-He's my pot dealer. -He's your pot dealer?
-l got it. -Get it.
-Gross. Are you okay? -Dale who is this?
-He's my-- Oh shit. Get down. -Dad!
What was that?
That was a gunshot.
Stop! Stop it! Stop it!
-He's with me. -l'm the good drug dealer.
-Put the gun down! -Put down the gun.
You assholes do exactly what l say...
...or l will take you outside and fuck you in the street.
-No don't. -Don't fuck us anywhere.
-Where's your gun? -l don't need it.
Kill motherfuckers with my hands.
Get out your goddamn gun. You're making me uncomfortable.
Anybody out there?
Fucking hide-and-seek.
Say now.
Hey the food's still warm.
Love it.
l found a bloody fork.
lt's fucking freaky man. They could still be here.
Did you check the rest of the house?
l'm about to check that bathroom l know that much.
Come on Saul. Come on. Come on. Come on.
Yes. We made it. We're all safe guys. We made it.
-What are you doing? -Get out.
Get out of my car. l can't believe you think it's an option.
Okay. Okay. That makes sense. lt makes sense.
Come on let's go. lt makes sense. He's right.
-Stay away from my family. Period. -So where do we go? What do we do?
Go to the Days lnn downtown okay?
Use a fake name.
Garagely. l'll contact you.
l don't know who these people are what they're capable of...
...but l will keep you guys safe l promise that.
Fuck off loser.
Angie you're a fucking idiot. l say that with love.
Okay you call this Mocha Milkshake.
This one here English Breeze. Charge $40 for these.
-Forty? -Yeah.
This one Da Vinci's Brush. Call this one Bumble Bush.
And this here Spanish Trampoline.
Crazy with them names ain't you T?
What the fuck is--? What is it Spanish--?
Spanish Trampoline. Used to call it Spanish Mudflaps...
...but Troy likes to trampoline so Spanish Trampoline.
-Almost the same number of syllables. -How much?
-Forty-five for these last three. -All right.
-And leave me the best stash. -All right.
lt's Pineapple Express. Get your ass up.
Yup of course.
So get this:
We triangulated the cells.
They smashed one threw the other in the woods to try to distract us.
lt took an hour for Jared to find it.
And then he said that he found Denton's car...
...filled with all these strange disguises.
A powdered wig a sombrero leotards.
l mean what the fuck does that mean?
Why don't l just call the Asians and talk to Cheung?
Why beat around the bush you know?
Hello?
Cheung it's Ted.
Record this conversation.
Ted what a surprise. What can l do for you?
Well Cheung my friend let me tell you.
You know we both know that you sent one of your very skilled...
...hit men over here last night and l and my colleague...
...made a little decoration on our window. Should have seen it.
We painted the wall with his brain Painted it.
And now this Dale Denton guy? You serious?
Just stop it okay? Stop it or you're asking for war. Do you want a war?
-What? -What?
-Hello? -Troy?
Dad! Get off the phone. l told you l'm gonna call some hot bitches later...
-...and this is the time. -l got you your own line...
...so you would stay off mine. Get off the phone.
Don't talk to me like that. l'm not a little kid l'm a man!
And from this point forward l'm not taking any of your fucking shit.
I love you Dad but the dynamic in our relationship is about to change.
Troy do me a favor get off the fucking phone!
-Shit. -So you have a son.
Sounds like a very nice boy.
All right you listen to me Cheung you motherfucker!
lt is on! We're coming at you with everything we got!
lt's on so you better get your head out of your ass...
...and be ready for everything!
You are fucking dead!
You are so dumb.
Do you have any idea how weak you just made us look?
Goddamn it!
Totally sweet.
Ted Jones is slipping.
We shall strike now with full force.
Your brother's death will not be in vain.
l gotta say l've had like a lot of weed dealers in my day.
You're the coolest l've ever had. They were all dicks.
-Really? Thanks man. -No problem.
l really appreciate it. That means a lot to me.
lt's like you're the first guy that l ever sold to that l became friends with.
They say like "Don't dip the pen in company ink."
l'm totally glad l dipped in your ink bro.
Yeah.
We should get out of town. That's probably our next move.
Just get on a bus and leave right?
Get bus tickets.
Go to the next town. Contact some police.
You know what l was saying? Like l'm totally--
You're glad you dipped your pen in my ink.
But we should get bus tickets and leave right?
What?
Get on the bus? Leave? Buy bus tickets?
l only have like 50 bucks. l don't think that'll even buy one ticket.
What about your sack?
Oh man it's fucking killing me. l feel like l popped one.
No. That's unfortunate but that's not what l'm talking about.
l mean like the sack of weed.
Couldn't we just like sell some weed...
...get some cash and buy bus tickets?
-Of course man. That's what l do. -That's what you do. Fucking A.
Okay so you're gonna buy tickets for Saturday's game right?
These guys are amazing.
What the fuck do you want?
You guys wanna buy some chronic?
What's this stuff called again?
Pineapple Express. They said it eight times.
-Yeah but don't call it that. -Yeah that's not what it's called.
-Call it Banana Boat. -Make sure you leave it at weed too.
This can be a gateway drug. Don't wanna move on to other things.
-Cocaine. Don't do that. -We don't fuck around.
-Don't worry. Don't tell us what to do. -lnhale it Chachi. lnhale it.
Who the fuck's Chachi?
-How much money you guys got? -Come on.
You each get as much as you can grab with one hand.
Go easy. That's a big handful guys. Come on.
-Keep it on the down-low. -Don't tell anybody where you got it.
You got it from Saul-- l mean you got it from Santiago and Dunbar.
-Go. Come on. -Go go. Vamoose!
You fucking did it man.
You are a good salesman. You got it in you man.
l'm about to go get some celebratory Slushees.
Get some burritos or something.
Something to drink too. Something good.
See you man. Nice.
Don't move. Don't you move. This shit hurts.
Don't move. What's in your hand?
lt's weed. lt's a joint. lt's a roach.
-Right here. -l was just smoking--
l thought it was decriminalized to be honest with you.
l have horrible anorexia and it helps my appetite. l'm so sorry.
Look selling narcotics to my students is not decriminalized.
-Okay. l understand. -l'm the liaison officer for this school.
And guess what? l just saw three students walking from back here...
...with their eyes as red as the devil's dick. You're busted.
-On the hood. On the hood. -Okay okay.
l'm on the hood. Come on.
-Stand still. Stand still. -l'm still. l'm sorry.
You better hope it's clean. Better hope ain't shit on this record.
l'm gonna put my foot up in your ass.
Oh big sexy with glasses.
This is Officer Barbara. Requesting an update on fugitive Dale Denton.
l repeat requesting update on Dale Denton. l have the fugitive in custody.
425 425 what's your location?
You going down.
What? What do you mean--? Why am l going down?
What did that thing tell you? What are you doing?
What did l tell you? What did l tell you?
l wasn't doing things. Why do you hate me so much?
Hit-and-run Mr. Denton. Hit-and-run.
Two parked cars two nights ago.
One of them was actually a police cruiser.
You gotta be the dumbest motherfucker in captivity.
lt's the lady cop. They got Dale. Oh shit.
So you're telling me you saw Ted Jones...
...and a police officer shoot somebody?
-Exactly. -And you saw it?
-Yes do you believe me? -Give me a minute.
-lt was a woman or a man? -lt was a policewoman. A woman.
-l think l know who that bitch was. -Yes. l will identify that bitch.
Thank you so much for believing me ma'am. Thank you.
l'll tell you l'll get to the bottom of it.
l'll take this badge off get to the bottom of it.
l don't work for the law. The law works for me.
l been smelling something in this department.
Keep your eyes on the road.
-Gonna get to the bottom of this shit. -Stop!
Son of a bitch!
Oh no. What the hell was that? What is that?
No no no.
-No. What are you doing? -l'm saving you amigo!
Freeze goddamn it! Don't even think about it!
This is an old-fashioned escape mission buddy.
Stop this car!
-What the fuck are you doing? -Oh shit! Oh shit!
Oh shit!
Oh shit! lt's the lady cop! That's the murderer! Go!
-That's the lady cop. -Who's that?
l don't know. They're shooting!
Oh my God they're shooting!
Fuck.
Dude!
l can't see! The Slushee!
-Turn on the wipers! -lt's not working!
Well kick out the window!
-How do you drive with one foot? -l don't know!
Fuck! l think l pulled my groin!
Get your foot out of there.
She's gaining on us. She's behind us.
Her car's better.
-Get your leg out of there. Seriously. -l can't.
Put it into maximum overdrive!
Oh no no no!
Oh shit!
Get it out!
l can't see!
Danger! Danger! Trees! Tree tree! Squirrel!
Hey l can see through my leg hole.
Nice! Look out! Tree tree tree!
You did it man.
All right! Look out!
Oh shit!
Turn around! Turn around!
l'm scared Saul. l'm scared.
-Don't worry. l'm handling this. -Do something.
All right hold on. l got an idea.
Oh shit! Oh shit! Go! Go! Go! Go!
Sorry!
What the fuck was that?
Fuck. l'm sorry. l thought she'd just go past.
-Why? -l don't know.
Oh my.
Yes! Yes! We made it! All right man.
-Let's get the fuck out of here. -No. What are you doing?
You forgot me you idiot! Come back!
Come back! Saul!
-Sorry man. -Thank you.
-Let's go. -Wait. Get the handcuff keys you idiot.
l haven't used a gun since Nam.
Angie you have exhibited poor decision-making skills.
Oh this is my fault.
And we have hosted violence in our home because of it.
-"Hosted violence"? -He's a bad guy.
You don't see that you have stooped way way below...
-You lowered your expectations... -...of what you are worthy of.
...but this guy is so far beneath you. You deserve much better.
Open your heart to someone who deserves you.
Or don't have a boyfriend at all for a while.
-We're stuck in this room. -l love him.
-lt's not your decision. -Love him?
-You don't know what love is. -l'm gonna date him.
-We're going to the police. -That's what l said.
-l know. -He said not to go to the police.
-You should listen. He's a lawyer. -You come with us.
-He can't possibly work in law. -l'm not going anywhere.
-You stay. -We're leaving.
-You stay in the room. -Fine go. Fine go.
And we don't need the shampoos. Why did--?
As soon as we kill those sacks of shit tonight Ted...
...l'm moving on.
Okay.
All right.
And l promise you you're gonna be taken care of.
As sure as shit you will.
For now this is what we're gonna do.
We're gonna go to the farm tonight we're gonna move tonight's shipment.
Then tomorrow morning we're gonna hunt these guys down.
Dale Saul the Asians. Every last one of them.
We're gonna fucking kill them all.
So smile.
Shut up.
Say something in Spanish. Go ahead. l dare you. Go ahead.
All right. Are you using protection?
-Days lnn. -Yes.
May l have the Garagely room please?
-Hello? -Hello is Angie there?
-Dale. -Angie?
-My God are you okay? -l'm good. l'm fine. l'm great.
-Are you okay? -Yes l'm fine.
Okay good. l came up with a plan.
lt might sound weird at first but just listen.
Dale. You know what? Drug dealers-- Let me tell you something.
Drug dealers are trying to kill me. And you. And my family.
l can't believe l'm in this situation right now because of you...
...and your addiction to marijuana. l cannot believe l'm here.
l can't be addicted to marijuana.
A l use a bong. lt filters out the addictive shit. Seriously.
B what does that have to do with anything? l witnessed murder.
And now l'm dealing with it.
This that's happening between us this is normal.
This happens to every couple dating for three months.
-We have to work through it. -No.
This doesn't happen to anyone.
l should not be in this situation so fuck you.
You know what? lt's over.
Good. Fine. Whatever. lt's over.
Congratulations. Had to happen sometime right? Why not now?
What the fuck does that mean?
It means that you are gonna go to college next year.
You'll get into Godspeed You! Black Emperor..
...and the fucking Shins
And you'll blow a bunch of dudes and become a lesbian...
...and l'll be here in fucking Clark County doing shit-all.
You're gonna dump me. So fuck it have a good time.
A lesbian? Fuck you Dale!
You never did like me anyway did you?
You didn't wanna meet my parents.
l always cared about you. That's not what this is. Okay?
l always care about you.
Why don't you ever act like it huh?
Why do you never act like you care about anything?
Because l'm high! Fuck! And it-- What do you want--? Okay. Jesus.
Call me when l can go home.
You lost it playing Bid Whist? You pimp.
No l'll give you more but you cannot gamble with it.
l know l'm sorry about the clocks.
l couldn't remember if it was today or tomorrow. All right l gotta go.
l love you.
You wise-ass.
Hey you all right man? That sounded pretty hectic.
l'm okay. Let's just get the fuck out of here.
First things first.
-Don't do that okay? -Yeah. Why not?
Why not? Car chase gunshots.
That clearly just happened...
...because we were smoking marijuana.
No man. lt happened because those kids...
...couldn't keep their shit on the down-low.
ln case you haven't noticed-- Which you haven't.
From what l can tell you don't notice anything ever.
--we are not very functional when we're high. Which is all the time.
Well l don't know man. l think l'm functioning right now.
l was like stoned when l saved you with those Slushees.
What do you gotta say to that?
Well that would be true if you had saved me.
But you didn't save me.
She was gonna help you made things worse.
We're wanted for all sorts of crazy shit.
Don't fucking get on my case all right?
Only reason l started selling pot...
...is so l could put my bubbe in a nice retirement home.
-She must be proud of you. -She is proud of me.
l'm gonna become something.
As soon as she dies l'm gonna become a civil engineer.
l'm gonna design septic tanks for playgrounds.
Little kids can take shits.
You idiot. What the hell do you do?
What am l gonna do? Besides stay in my home...
...for fear that you've designed some object l'm around?
l'm gonna be on the radio talking about life.
-Giving lessons about life. -Put me in my place.
l'm gonna be designing buildings and what's he doing?
Boring people to death on the radio.
You are an asshole. That's all you are. You're an asshole.
-l'm not an asshole. -You are an asshole.
l feel pretty sure that l'm not an asshole.
l'm like a totally nice guy.
l'm just as nice as you are. So don't bring that out.
ln the woods l gave you my jacket.
You were cold and l clothed you.
How about in the park when l said that you were my friend?
You didn't say anything back.
Well that's easy. lt's because we're not friends.
You are my drug dealer.
There's one reason we know each other.
l like the drugs you sell. That's it.
lf you didn't sell those drugs l would have no idea who you were...
...and l would be fantastic right now. lnstead of looking like this.
That sounded mean. Just hearing it sounded mean.
-l didn't mean to say-- -lt's out.
Monkey's out of the bottle man.
What? That's not even an expression.
Pandora doesn't go back in the box. He only comes out.
l'm sorry man. Look--
-What are you doing? -Here. Have a nice last meal.
Come on man. Don't do that.
Why don't you supersize it bitch?
l'm sorry man. Look come back.
l didn't mean that.
l love you. Do you love me?
That looks great.
Hello?
Dale?
lt is Dale.
Angie l'm calling because l love you more than anything in the world...
...and l wanna let you know l'll do anything to make it work.
I'll do anything.
l've had a near-death experience and when that happens...
...you can prioritize your life and you are it okay?
So please just take me back please.
-l love you. -l love you.
-Yeah? -l just don't wanna lose you Dale.
We were driving away from the house and l just kept thinking--
l don't know. l just--
l wanna marry you.
l made a mistake.
-What do you mean? -l've....
-What? -l'm just processing that last bit.
-You wanna-- Oh fuck -What?
l don't know.
l realize now that if you would take me back...
...then you are very naive and immature.
You don't see what a fuck-up l am. l'm in no shape to be dated by anyone.
-You're the one that's immature. -l'm not immature. You're immature
l am somewhat immature but you're more immature. I'm older.
Just because you're older.
l lost my virginity when l was 14 years old.
-Really? -How many girls have you slept with?
-Like two and a half. -Two and a half?
What is a half? Your hand?
No it was the tip or l dipped a ball in. I can't remember why.
l remember thinking "This doesn't count as a full point."
lf l said three l'd feel like a liar. l was drunk.
Screw you.
Get me out of this room.
l will and that's the last you'll ever hear from me okay?
Oh thank goodness. Okay.
Belogus. Faye Belogus.
Lookit there. Lookit there.
Do you use the pool over here?
Yes l use the pool. Come on what do you want from me?
Your grandson. We need you to get on the phone with your grandson--
What are you talking about my grandson?
You told me you wanna sit down play dominos with me.
And now you're hocking me about my grandson.
-ls that Yiddish? -Yes. Yes it is.
May l call you Faye?
You can call me Faye but l'm gonna call you a stinker.
Hey Mrs. Mendelson.
What do you want from me?
Bubbe. Hey guys.
-Well look who it is. -Hello baby.
Damn.
Oh shit.
Sorry Betty.
They kidnapped my grandson.
Yeah these two guys came in...
...they sat down with me to play dominos.
l never saw them in my life before.
And they kept asking questions about my grandson.
-What did they look like? -One of them was very tall and sloppy.
And the other guy he was very good-looking...
...but he was short as shit.
But the worst part was...
...that my grandson came in why and in pajamas.
-You gotta find my grandson. -Do the best--
-Do you promise? -l promise.
Absolutely. You've got something there.
l believe that's a mole ma'am.
You sack of shit. Do you know what a pain in the ass you've been?
No man. l don't wanna get out.
Who gave you that lollipop? Let's go.
Where am l man? What?
You guys started it man. l don't even wanna be here.
Shit. Did l do that?
Hey hey. All right okay.
Fuck you man!
-Stand back. Ted wants him alive. -Why you holding me back?
Ted wants him alive okay?
l should be kicking his fucking teeth in.
-lf anybody's gonna beat him it's Ted. -l look like Hamburglar.
And the Elephant Man.
Like someone fucked you up with a coffee pot.
Professional. Professional.
-Professional on this bitch. -Whatever man.
-Where were you? -l was there.
-Supposed to be my partner. -l was there.
No you wasn't. How did this happen?
l take the hit? That's how it's gonna be?
Fuck all this you know? Get him out of here.
Take him downstairs. Get this asshole out of my sight.
l don't wanna go near this guy.
What's down there? Fucking rancor?
l might act tough...
...but l got a lot of feelings.
And you hurt damn near every one of them.
This ain't over.
-You know you gonna die right? -Yeah.
l'm gonna kill the fuck out of you.
l hope you enjoy these last 17 minutes of your life...
...because when Ted gets here he's gonna be like:
"Kill that motherfucker." l'm gonna kill your motherfucking ass.
Watch your head.
Hey watch him.
Oh my God.
El Dorado.
The legends are true.
Look at all this weed man.
What's that? Purple Granddaddy?
-Come on. -Purple Nurple?
OG Kush?
OG Kush.
lt's the most beautiful thing l've ever seen.
-What kind of irrigation--? -Shut up.
-Can l touch it? -Come here.
Hello?
Red?
-Red? -What the fuck?
Get out of here man. l didn't do shit Denton.
Look l come in peace okay? l'm not here to fight you again.
Good.
Because l'm tired man. Not feeling so hot.
You don't look great.
They shot me Denton.
They got me right here.
-Yeah? -Right here.
And then they got me again right here.
Look man l'll call 911 right now.
They'll save your life okay?
-You don't need to die. -No bro.
You don't get it. lt doesn't really matter where l'm at.
lf l'm at the hospital if l'm here...
...Ted's gonna find me man. He will.
And when he does he's gonna fucking kill me.
He's just like an asshole.
l couldn't agree more Red. That's why l've come here okay?
You know Ted? He took Saul.
And l'm gonna get him back.
You know like he saved my life.
We've been on the run together. He's a great friend. A good guy.
He is. l'll tell you that man. Saul is a good dude.
l was mean to him man.
l wronged him and l can't-- l can't let it end like that.
l'm just into Buddhism and l'm at peace with the fact...
...that me as this person probably gonna not be around.
Think about a hermit crab okay?
And it's a shell and it's like they go from one shell to the next.
And that's what l am. lt's like l'm just a hermit crab changing shells.
Except if you're a dick your whole life...
...your next shell will be made of shit okay?
lf you're an asshole you're gonna come back as a cockroach.
Or a worm or a fucking anal bead okay?
lf you're a man and you act heroic...
...you'll come back as an eagle.
You'll come back as a dragon.
You'll come back as Jude Law.
Okay? Which would you rather be?
Maybe the anal bead. Might-- Depending on who it belongs to.
lt belongs to me.
-Then the dragon. -Exactly.
You need to help me okay? Just use it you know? Use the pain.
You'll have a second wind.
Let's get up and go get Saul back. Use it.
-Aren't you angry at Ted? -Yeah l'm really mad at him.
What do you wanna do? Don't you wanna get up do something about it?
Maybe that would be cool to do to him.
l don't think "maybe" is the answer.
l think "Yes l'm gonna help you Dale"...
...that's the answer l'm looking for.
Come here.
Ted Jones messed with the wrong melon farmers.
Thug life.
Oh shit.
Get those. l don't wanna run them over in the vacuum...
-...and shoot my face off okay? -l'm sorry.
l used to use this little gun when l was a prostitute.
Don't.
Just something quick like that.
-Don't. -Yeah.
-Don't. You stop it right now. -Stop it.
Oh God.
That's a big hideout.
l can't do this. l'm sorry. l can't do this.
l'm infected. My shit's all fucked up. l need medical attention.
What? l thought we just got all pumped up. What was that about?
Ted is a fucking murderer. l can't fuck with him.
l got a wife. She's gonna be out ofjail soon.
l wanna fuck her. l am not gonna wake up murdered tomorrow.
Oh man no. This is lame of you man.
Come on. This could be your moment of redemption.
This could be your moment.
l don't want a moment. l don't want-- Fine go.
Fuck you.
Please come back for me. Please come back.
Legends never die dude. l'll tell your story.
Carol she's cool now.
Carol used to be a little crazy man. She used to throw tickle parties.
-Sounds like home-cooking to me. -That was fun.
Game over motherfuckers! Everybody freeze!
Tell me where my friend is or this guy gets it!
All right everybody be cool man. Be cool.
Put your guns down. Nobody shoots.
Put them down. On the ground.
All right everybody just chill.
Oh my God!
-You shot him. -Put the gun down.
-Drop the fucking gun. -Don't shoot me!
-Holy shit. -l said nobody shoot. You shot Pete.
That's right. l shot him. l shot him.
l shot him. l don't have time for a fucking negotiation.
Now l wanna finish this off so l can go home...
...and have dinner with my wife for once.
lf anybody asks Denton killed Pete.
End of story.
l'm telling Ted.
-lf you do-- -He's got a piece.
-Motherfucker. -Okay l'm sorry.
He's got another one in the side.
Damn it. l got one more on my leg.
There's one more. l know you'll find it. Take it.
l'm sorry guys. Sorry l deceived you.
No. Come on.
-Oh great. -Saul.
-Dale. -Yes.
What did you do rat me out? ls that what you did you bastard?
-No man. -Yes.
l'm here to save you.
No. You just got caught too.
And l'm gonna die in here with some asshole.
Okay you know what? l deserved that.
l'll take that because l have been an asshole man.
This whole thing is my fault. l ruined your life.
Okay? And l know there's no way...
...to make that up to you except by saving your life.
So that's what l came here to do. l'm here to save my best friend.
Because that's what you are. You're my best friend.
You're a mean jerk.
l was mean. l was mean because l think--
l didn't want you to be my best friend.
l didn't wanna think that that's what my life was.
Now l realize l'm lucky to have you as my best friend.
You're the best guy l know.
BFFF.
Best fucking friends forever man. Seriously.
-All right. Give me a hug. -Yeah. Okay.
Thanks man. l'm so sorry about everything.
Oh l'm such a dick.
-Okay. l'm gonna get us out. -No you're not but it's okay.
These guys are gonna fucking kill us. We gotta get out of here.
-l know. They are. -Fuck man.
We can hear you outside and it's very fucking annoying all right?
-Okay. Sorry about that sir. -Shut the fuck up.
Do you know what "shut the fuck up" mean?
l do.
Shit. Stupid motherfuckers.
Yes. Okay. l got an idea. l got an idea. My belt buckle. My belt buckle.
Right here. Okay? Rub your wrists against my belt buckle. That'll do it.
-ls it working? -l can't feel it.
l can't feel you.
-Wait l feel it. -l feel it. Yes okay.
-Okay. -Okay. Okay.
-l'm gonna save you man. -Yeah. Yeah.
-Let me save you. -Save me Dale.
lt's not working. We gotta change angles.
We gotta get more leverage-y. Okay.
Okay that's good. That's good.
Get your hands up on it. There we go.
-All right. All right. -Yeah. Okay.
-Yes. Yes. -Okay.
l'm gonna save you man. l'm gonna save you.
-You're my best friend man. -Yeah see?
-lt's not working. -Let me use my-- l'll use my mouth.
Finish it off with my mouth pal. Let's go.
Come on. Let's go.
Harder.
-Where are these fuckers? -We got them downstairs.
-Where did you find them? -Found Saul at his grandmother's.
He fucked up Matheson's face. Hit him with a pot of hot coffee.
lt's gross.
Dale Denton comes flying in here like a madman...
...armed to the teeth and as you can see he shot Peter.
Plugged him just whacked him.
Now they're both disarmed and they're downstairs.
He shot Pete?
Fucking Pete? He was ex-ClA.
Who the fuck is this Dale Denton?
Who is he? Where did he come from? l do not know.
Time to cook shit up tonight.
Take his stash and burn this motherfucker down.
Stop. Wait here.
No retreat no surrender.
Yes yes yes.
-Wait someone's coming. -Okay okay okay.
lf l cough once l'll take the lead. lf l cough twice you go okay?
Well-- l cough sometimes for real.
Just don't. Don't--
Yo look. l'm gonna say this one time.
Whatever you're doing l get it okay?
Stop.
See l don't think you understood me.
l can hear everything you're saying.
One cough mean you go. Two cough mean you take the lead.
The belt buckle. Best friends forever.
Y'all fuck on your own time man.
Sorry man. lt was a stupid plan.
What the fuck is that?
Dale!
l've been waiting for this. You burned my face!
l'm gonna tear this ass up.
You shot me.
l'm sorry man.
l've never been shot. Damn that hurt.
l got glass in my ass.
-Dale. Dale! -This is messed up.
Has anyone seen my bigger knife?
Asians!
War is upon you!
Prepare to suck the cock of karma!
Get down motherfucker!
Come on!
Fuck!
Go! Go!
Get down baby!
Dale no!
No wake up man.
No you're not dying man.
Not without me.
-Dale. -What?
You're alive.
-You're-- You're alive. -What happened?
-He got your ear man. -He got my what?
-He got your ear. -Fuck!
Fuck!
-Help! -My ear.
-Yeah. -Help!
-You killed my ear. -You shot me.
-l didn't do that. -He shot me.
You shot him?
-Get your hands off of me. -Shut up.
We've had enough out of you.
l'm not your friend.
Maybe l can just--
No. No infected.
ls that it? Maybe if we just hold it.
lt's clear.
Dude. Look.
Nice.
Bullets.
So seriously how gross does my ear look?
ls it really disgusting or is it like kind of cool in a way?
Right now it's pretty disgusting.
l feel like l can smell it.
Don't worry bro. Think about Evander Holyfield.
You can't even tell.
That's a good point.
Wait.
Did you shoot that guy?
No. l'm out of bullets.
Me too.
Maybe it was ricochet.
Gravity.
Oh nice.
You go down.
l'll cover.
Watch my back. l'll go down and take care of this.
Sexy motherfucker.
No no there might be more bad guys up there.
No we'll sneak out through the vent. Come on.
l'll boost you up okay? And then you pull me up.
Oh nice.
Here we go. Okay.
Get up. Yeah. Nice.
Nice.
Nice. Okay.
Pull me up.
l'm ready. Go.
-Give it to me. -Come on.
-Be taller. -Be stronger.
-Pull harder. -Dale come on.
Pull. Pull me. Come on man.
-l'm jumping as high as l can. -Denton!
Dale!
l'll get help. l'll get help.
Go ahead and run you little dipshit. l'll find you.
Give me that fire extinguisher.
Okay.
You and me baby. Drop it now! Put the bag down!
Now!
Fuck you!
Fuck the police!
Motherfucking kill you!
-Why you doing this to me? -Why you doing this to me?
Oh shit!
Come here!
l hate you!
No! Ted stop it!
Come on bitch. Come on l'll twist your balls so tight.
You're in the jungle now baby.
Jesus!
Fuck.
Gonna die.
-You killed-- -l didn't wanna do that.
But you weren't gonna stop.
Shoot him!
Just take it easy buddy.
Shoot him you dumb fuck!
l'm hungry.
l'm going home.
All right.
Help.
l knew you were going soft.
Dinner's gonna be cold tonight asshole.
Fucked up man.
-Well lookie here. Mr. Folgers. -Oh man.
What's up sir?
-Look l didn't wanna hit you man-- -Shut the fuck up.
You think you was gonna get me motherfucker huh?
You need to sit your little sexy ass down...
...and watch yourself get killed now.
All right.
You know what? This is how it's gonna be?
All right. This is how it ends.
You just got killed by a Daewoo Lanos motherfucker.
How you like me now huh?
Gross.
Red?
Saul.
Hey Saul. l came back for you bro.
-Yeah. -l remembered man.
Bro's before ho's.
-You lied to me. -l did. l lied bigtime to you.
Dale said that you didn't even have herpes and l said that you did.
Honestly like from now on from everything that we've gone through...
...and like from seeing this asshole's nuts smashed with my Daewoo...
...l wanna be a better friend to you like l really am.
l fucking love you dog. Fucking love you.
l wanna be inside you homes.
No more lies Red.
-This is my moment. -This is your moment.
Red!
You know what? l'm feeling it.
Red l'm coming baby.
Your stupidity amazes me.
Hey Ted!
You killed my brother...
...Caucasian son of cocksucker!
Suck my balls! Two times!
Bitch!
Bring it on.
Shit. Dale.
Dale!
Holy shit!
Sorry Ted.
You've been served.
Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit.
Saul! Saul!
Wake up man! This place is gonna collapse! Come on!
Come to me!
You're not dying today friend.
Not on my watch.
Saul. Wake up man please.
Saul.
Wake up.
Oh sweet Saul.
Saul.
Yes. Yeah.
Saul you made it.
-What? -Yeah.
Where am l?
You made it man.
-You saved me. -You came back for me.
-Yeah. -Oh thank you.
What happened?
Holy shit.
What's that?
Hi.
-Red? -Red?
-Red. -Hey.
Red. Where'd you come from man? Where'd he come from?
He came back to save us.
-He saved us? -Yeah.
All right man.
-We all saved each other. -Yeah.
Oh man. We made it guys.
We made it. Oh we made it.
Hello you're listening to PPRPBP. l am Dale Denton.
The topic of the day: new beginnings. Getting over losses.
Friends. Life.
We have our first caller.
Yes ring-ring-ring. How's it going?
Hi. Am l on the air?
You are. You're about to get D'd by the Dale.
A D in the face.
-Dale Denton? -Yeah?
You're my hero.
You are good man. Seriously.
-Thanks. -Gotta admit you're pretty good.
-lt sounds pretty good. -lt sounds real.
-lt's not bad huh? -lf l close my eyes it sounds like--
-You are on the radio. -That's the radio. That's a DJ.
-lf you were on it l would listen to it. -Thanks man.
lt's like when my bubbe was always playing opera...
...l hated it but my bubbe loves it.
Then it grows on you. lt grows on you. Yeah.
lt's like Red. l didn't like Red when l first met him.
-You didn't like me? -You liked him so much...
...l like you now.
l know this sounds weird but can we be best friends? Just us for real?
-We should all be best friends. -We should.
Seriously. You guys are like both of my best friends.
You didn't know it. Now you know it we'll all be best friends.
Know those hearts that break up "best friends"?
We should get a three-way one.
-l don't know if they make those. -We should make the first one.
l want the middle piece so it'll be crooked on both sides.
l know we've gone over this but like 1000 pardons 1000 pardons please.
-l fucked up-- -l was a dick to you man. l'm sorry.
l know l was an asshole. l hope l redeemed myself.
-l know me and you had our deal. -We've had some times.
l feel like something's happening here. ls that a boner?
ls that a condo? That us moving into an apartment together?
ls that us getting a time-share?
-You threw an ashtray at his face. -You hit me man.
At the time l was like: But it was kind of funny.
You hit me with a DustBuster man.
l didn't wanna hurt you. lt was like "You better not leave here."
-That was such a good fight man. -That was.
You fuckhead.
-The car chase was awesome. -You got into a car chase?
-Are you kidding me? Oh my God. -Yeah it was....
l like had my foot through the window.
My groin-- l mean l felt like a wishbone.
-l just feel different about everything. -Me too man. Everything.
Like l never wanna kill anybody else again.
-Ever. -That's something you pretty much--
You can just kind of dip your toes into.
We kind of dipped our toes into murder.
l killed six guys l think. How many guys did you--?
-We each shot several people. -A lot.
Some people get a taste for it but l don't.
l shot someone who was already dead so that doesn't count as a murder.
Apparently you hit him with your car l'm told.
-That-- You killed him. -Okay so l did murder somebody.
-You murdered man. -Not a big deal. That's cool.
-That's cool. Whatever. Kill or be killed. -l know.
l'm trying to decide how stoned l am...
...and just how on the verge of death am l now.
Am l seeing shit because l'm stoned or because l have no blood left?
-You've been shot like seven times. -You gotta eat.
-You're losing stuff. -Yeah.
-Here. -Yeah okay.
-Here comes the airplane. -Look like a baby.
lt's a miracle. l think we should all take a moment...
...and think about what a miracle it is that we got out.
And that we became friends in the process...
...and learned some shit about life and stuff.
Should we touch each other's hands while we do it? Okay.
l love you guys.
l love you dudes so much.
l'll remember that for the rest of my life.
-Red? -Red?
Yo Red man. You alive?
What's up pal?
-Hey. -Hey.
l'm like the nerd at the sleepover who fell asleep at 9.
That's okay. We won't put our dicks in your mouth.
-Oh God. -Hey there's bubbe.
Come on. Let's get out of here.
Yeah maybe we should go to the doctor.
Do you think she'll drive me to the hospital?
Me too. l should get the ear looked at.
My ear should probably get professional attention.
-lt is bad. -That's a bullet burp.
Either l'm getting ready to die or l'm gonna take a massive shit.
lf somebody could get me to the hospital.
Blood from my ear just....
You guys smell like shit.
You are in serious danger.